


Perfect for You

by Nimbus_Cloud



Series: Seasons [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, First Love, Getting Together, M/M, Pre-Canon, Slice of Life, Volleyball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-22 06:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8276824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nimbus_Cloud/pseuds/Nimbus_Cloud
Summary: A prequel story detailing how Akaashi and Bokuto's relationship got started with a fateful meeting across the net at a middle school tournament.  From that moment on, cue all of Akaashi's woes.  Featuring first-year Akaashi and second-year Bokuto and a growing list of frustrations.





	

Spikers frequently described the satisfaction of scoring a point with a well-delivered spike—the feel of the ball against the palm of your hand, letting your arm swing free with reckless abandon, the echo of it slamming down on the gymnasium floor ringing in everyone’s ears… Akaashi just didn’t appreciate it the way they did.  After all, it wasn’t his job to land those eye-catching attacks, it was his job to enable them.  In the end, a point was a point, and a point by a spike rang the same as a point by a well-timed dump shot over the net.  He didn’t need to be flashy or cool, his team just needed to score. 

Or so Akaashi thought… 

Until his second year in middle school when his team played against a prep school team favored to make it to the prefectural finals.  Bad luck to face them so early on in the bracket splits, but the team rallied and played the best they could.  But no matter how hard they tried, they lost point after point to a loud-mouthed third year on the opposing team with wildly-streaked hair and golden eyes.  He was inconsistent and hard to predict, but when he took to the sky for a spike, arms thrown back and grinning wide… Akaashi was mesmerized from the other side of the net.  When that ace whooped and cheered and flung himself onto his teammates with every point scored, Akaashi felt a proud satisfaction well in his chest, even though those points were scored against his own team. 

 _If I could toss to him¸_ he found himself thinking.  _If he scored off one of my tosses…_

Then perhaps he’d finally understand the satisfaction of a good spike attack and the thrill of offense.

To no one’s surprise, it was the match that knocked Akaashi and his team out of the tournament.  He wasn’t too disappointed; he had another year yet to play, but when they began to shake hands across the net with their opponents, Akaashi felt just a little bit sad that next year’s tournament wouldn’t feature this crazed, loud-mouthed captain.  The one that was now splitting his face with a mad grin as he shook Akaashi’s hand, saying,

“Good game!  You had some really great tosses there!” 

“Th-thank you…” had been Akaashi’s meager response.

* * *

 

“Nice toss, Akaashi!!!” Bokuto hollered in the poor setter’s ear.

“Thank you…” Akaashi muttered shyly, rubbing at the arm Bokuto had punched in his excitement.  “Is there anything you think I should improve?” 

“Improve?  Mmm… maybe toss a little higher?  And a little closer to the net.  At least when tossing to me.  We’ll make a regular out of you yet!”

Akaashi appreciated the encouraging sentiment, though he wasn’t certain if their captain would, given that _he_ was the actual regular setter for their team. 

“All right, let’s have the first-years rotate out for serve-and-receive practice in the second gym!” The Coach clapped his hands.  “I want upperclassmen grouping up for a practice match.  Six-on-six, let’s have… second years against third years!  Shirofuku, can you go with the first-years and watch them in the other gym?”

“Sure thing, Coach.” The team manager, Shirofuku Yukie, smiled politely before calling the first-years away.

Akaashi began to follow his class mates out and away, pausing for a happy moment to reply to Bokuto, who had shouted after him,

“See you later, Akaashi!”

“Yes.  Later.”

Despite now being at the same school on the same team, they had very few opportunities to actually practice together.  There was that pesky, frustrating one-year gap that separated them.  It seemed so small, but that one year meant weeks and weeks more grueling practice and tournament experience, and Akaashi could not hope to compete with the Fukurodani main setter, who boasted _two_ more years in said experience.  But Akaashi had his eyes set on a regular position—as setter—so that one day he could toss to Bokuto in a game with stakes and share the spiker’s joy in smashing home a point.

For now, he would have to make do with the supplemental practices for which he and Bokuto stayed late, long after everyone else had gone home.  Sometimes a few of the other second-years joined in so they had enough for a three-on-three, but the last one to leave was always Bokuto.  He had stamina and a drive Akaashi could not match, though he made every valiant attempt.

“Are you staying after practice today too?” Yukie asked him as the first-years cleaned up the gym at the end of their drills. 

It was perhaps the second time she had ever spoken to him since he joined the team, and it took Akaashi a second to even remember her name.  “That was the plan, yes.” He replied sheepishly.  “Is there a problem?” 

“No, I don’t really care,” she shrugged.  “Unless the gym’s going to be closed.  But I know Coach would want me to tell you at least once not to overdo it.  Especially in getting pulled along at Bokuto’s pace.  The guy’s a monster when it comes to volleyball.  I know he’s senior to you so you might feel like you’re not in a position to refuse, but don’t just go along with his every whim, got it?” 

“…I appreciate your concern, I do.  But… I want to become a regular on the team.  I’m not being forced into anything, I promise.  The extra practice is good for me.”

“Hmm…” she leaned back, raising her eyebrows and slowly smiling at him.  “Wouldn’t have pegged you as the overzealous athlete from looking at you.  You’re pretty interesting actually.”

“What do you mean—“

“Here.” She tossed him the storeroom and gymnasium keys, hung on a plain keyring.  “I’ll give these to you.  Remember to lock up afterwards.  Bokuto forgets half the time.” 

“…forgets?” 

* * *

 

“Ah… yeah… Yukie yells at me a lot about that actually…” Bokuto scratched his head with a nervous chuckle, blithely unaware of Akaashi’s stupefied horror.  Instead he aimed his water bottle and squeezed, hoping to aim a stream of water into his mouth but mostly splashing it onto his chin.  Someday he’d get it right. 

“Isn’t that… a bit irresponsible?” Akaashi pressed, ignoring the waterworks display.  “What if the school property were to be robbed or vandalized?” 

“Well the school gates get locked too—robbers would have to get past that first.  Besides, there’s nothing really valuable in the gym, just sports stuff.” 

“That’s…” Akaashi bit his lip.  Mostly because he wasn’t quite sure where to begin.  Depending on the equipment, a bit of ‘sports stuff’ was in fact extremely valuable and very expensive to replace if it did, in fact, go missing. 

“But since she’s giving you the keys now, none of us will have to worry!  Well, except you.  Anyway, let’s keep going!  I wanna practice my cross-spike today!”

It was hard to consider the matter a done deal with just that, but refusing to toss to Bokuto sometimes felt like kicking an injured puppy.  Konoha had previously warned him about Bokuto’s mood swings (“It’s a bad habit of his…”) but actually dealing with one was much less fun than dealing with an injured puppy. 

Akaashi was fast learning that Bokuto had a number of bad habits, in fact.  From the mood swings to forgetting to lock up the gym to neglecting his studies and falling asleep in class to constantly spilling his water everywhere (seriously, just put your mouth on the spigot of the bottle!)… If he were to keep an itemized list, he was sure it’d hit double digits quite quickly.  Only a month into his first year and that list already numbered up to seven.  Perhaps by the time Bokuto graduated, the list would hit 100. 

He had read somewhere that getting to know someone meant learning their flaws first.  So maybe this mostly meant that he was getting to know Bokuto quite well, and it was hard to complain about that somehow.  After all, when they had first met at that tournament in middle school, Akaashi had since then been overcome with the inexplicable urge to know more about him. 

* * *

 

“Bokuto… Koutarou…”

Akaashi read the name on the team roster for the school that took victory over them.  As expected when looking at the standings, that team had made it through to the finals.  While the rest of Akaashi’s team opted to sulk a little in the wake of their loss, Akaashi continued to watch the matches as they continued, all the way through to the finals.  His teammates had called him a masochist, and maybe he was a little.  But he wasn’t watching in order to wallow about their own performance, he was watching for Bokuto Koutarou. 

It was silly, to feel such raw admiration for a player from an opposing team, but the ace had a rather magnetic personality.  It was plain to see by the audience and all the players on the court: people were drawn to him. 

“That kid could probably go pro if he could just clean up his form…” A man in the stands spoke to his colleagues.  Akaashi strained his ears to overhear. 

“His form is fine, he needs consistency, that’s what.”

“Doesn’t that come from having a better form?”

“…shut up.”

“Anyway, he’s too flashy.”

“Flashy’s fun to watch!” 

“I heard he’s headed to Fukurodani next year—we’ll probably see them at Spring High.” 

 _Fukurodani…_ Akaashi repeated the name in his head, committing it to memory.  He’d heard the name before—he knew they boasted a top-ranking volleyball team.  As a private school, they likely possessed a strong academic reputation as well. 

_If I go to Fukurodani… I can play on the same team as Bokuto Koutarou._

The thought took less than a second to flash across his young mind, and it was meant to be a passing whim.  A thought exercise.  A fun, what-if scenario.  The only problem was that it didn’t pass through like a whisper on the breeze, it _stuck_.  And it was quickly taking root into something immovable and impossible to ignore. 

A little over a year stood between him and that opportunity.  But he… _wanted_ it.  And it had been a very long time since Akaashi had last felt that he wanted anything for his life.  His overbearing parents made sure he went where he was supposed to go, and that was that.  But perhaps now he could finally voice a preference.

* * *

 

“A week-long summer training camp?” Akaashi repeated as he locked up the gym one night. 

“Yeah!  Coach will probably bring it up soon, but basically we get together with three other schools in the prefecture and have practice matches for a week.  It can get pretty grueling, and there are a lot of penalties for losing, but there’s no better practice than against another team, ya know?” Bokuto gushed.

“But will the first years be permitted to play?”  When arranging weekend practice matches with other schools during the regular trimesters, they were very much treated as potentially official matches, so they stuck to the regular team composition and rarely deviated from the tried-and-true strategies. 

“Oh yeah!  It’s a chance to try some fun and crazy things, ya know?  We’ll definitely mix it up.  SO make sure you send a lot of good tosses my way, yeah?”

“I… I’ll do my best.” 

“Aww, come on… at least try to sound a _little_ more excited about it!  I’m excited about hitting your tosses!”

How was Akaashi to explain it was precisely because he was excited that he could only manage such a meager response?  He wasn’t sure that Bokuto could understand such nuance of feeling. 

“…let’s just hope we’ll be put on the same team for at least one rotation.”  Akaashi replied somewhat coldly, but inside it was difficult to keep his heart from beating wildly against his ribs.  _They’re only practice matches_ , he tried to tell himself.  And his heart was only beating so fiercely because he had just been running around. 

It wouldn’t be like their supplementary practices, he realized as they resumed.  He’d need to prove himself as a decent setter for the other four teammates on his side of the court too, not just his loud and rambunctious upperclassman. 

But the honest truth was that Bokuto was the most difficult player to toss to as a result of his wildly inconsistent plays and shifting moods.  Tossing to anyone else was a breeze since many spikers had a clear and regular preference for the types of tosses they could hit best. 

* * *

 

“Nice toss!  Akaashi, was it?” Konoha, one of Bokuto’s classmates offered him a high-five immediately following a play.  “You’re that one that always stays late with Bokuto.  Guess that’s paying off for you, huh?”

The first match of the training camp in which Akaashi had been permitted to play came a couple of days into the camp, on teams full of mostly first and second years. 

“You’ve joined us on a couple of occasions, actually.” He reminded Konoha politely.

“I’m bad with names.  But I’ll try to learn your name before this week is out, since you’re pretty memorable.”  Konoha smiled.  “Plus I think we’re grouped up for quite a few more of these.”

“…memorable?”

“If only because Bokuto talks about you a lot.  In class, I mostly tune him out, but maybe I’ll pay a little more attention from now on.  He’s been itching to play a set with you for the past couple of days.” 

“I’m…” Akaashi’s quiet gaze looked across the gym to the Fukurodani main setter, who was laughing and chatting with their team manager.  “I’ll try not to disappoint.”  His voice carried a hint of mild envy.  But he’d make himself the regular setter soon enough. 

Konoha folded his arms cross his chest with a frown after following Akaashi’s gaze.  “Be more assertive, Akaashi!  You’ve got skill, trust me.  But you wanna know the trick to the becoming the main setter?”

“…there’s a trick?” Akaashi raised his eyebrows.

Konoha leaned in, voice low and quiet, his teeth glinting with his grin.  “You need to be able to keep Bokuto in line.” 

“That’s…” Akaashi took a step back, hesitation coloring his expression.

“You know pretty well already that he’s the type of guy who can pull others into going at his pace.  You let him do that without any pushback, and he’ll run everyone ragged.  He doesn’t care if you’re a first-year or a third-year or a child or a girl.  You stand on his side of the net, you’re his equal.  Don’t be afraid to tell him no just because he’s older.” 

“I’ll… try to keep that in mind.” 

…is what Akaashi said, but that didn’t stop him from continuing to accept Bokuto’s invitations for extra practices in the evening.  Even though the training camp alone was grueling and his muscles were all screaming in new and interesting ways, if he didn’t practice more, he’d never be put on the court for an official match. 

After the first couple of nights, they were joined by a couple of players from Nekoma—a second year with wild hair and a sullen first year, who appeared for all the world as though he’d rather be _anywhere_ else. 

“Hey hey hey, Kurooo!” Bokuto hollered.  “Think you can stop my intense, awesome, god-like spikes yet?!”

“I’m ready to block them straight back into your face is what I’m ready to do!” Kuroo sneered, baring his fangs.  “But first, be classy for two minutes and let me introduce Kenma.  Nekoma’s new amazing setter.  With Kenma on our team, you’re about to witness Nekoma’s return to greatness!” 

“Kuro… I’m not even a regular on the team yet.” Kenma mumbled, standing so he was mostly behind his friend and away from these strange new faces.  Akaashi could hardly fault him for being intimidated by Bokuto. 

“Ohhh?  If we’re comparing awesome setters, I’ve brought one of my own!” Bokuto huffed, preening as Kenma shrank further behind Kuroo.  “ _This_ is—“

“I’m Akaashi Keiji, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Akaashi bowed his head swiftly, not wanting to let Bokuto introduce him and call him something weird. 

They all raised their eyebrows at him, Kuroo’s smirk growing ever wider.  “Oho, what’s this?”  He put his hands on his hips.  “Bokuto, you brought along such a proper little _kouhai_!”  Then under his breath, he whispered, “Is this dumb owl forcing you to be here?  If you’d rather take off, no one here would hold it against you.”  

“Oi, Kuroo!  Don’t go badmouthing me to—“

“Actually, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.  I’m quite happy for the extra practice.” Akaashi cut in with a polite smile. 

“Akaashi!” Bokuto cried happily as Kuroo whistled, clearly impressed. 

“Well if you don’t _need_ a fourth person, I’ll just go—“ Kenma tried to turn to leave but Kuroo immediately grabbed him by the wrist. 

“Nope!  You have to stay at least a little while!”

“You said Akaashi could leave if—“

“I was offering him a courtesy in case Bokuto coerced him to be here.”

“ _I’m_ being coerced to be here.” Kenma bit back, a sour expression falling onto his mouth. 

“Are we gonna play volleyball or listen to you lovebirds bicker all night?!” Bokuto cut in suddenly, tossing a ball toward Kuroo.  “Let’s get started already!”

Akaashi offered his hand to Kenma as the Nekoma setter rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath.  Nothing nice, he was sure.  With a smile, he said, “Nice to meet you.”

“…and you.” Kenma mumbled in reply, squeezing Akaashi’s fingertips for all of half a second before moving to join Kuroo on the other side of the net.

Whatever complaints he had about being dragged to this extra practice, he still certainly put in a surprising level of effort for the time he spent with them.  Akaashi could plainly see Kuroo hadn’t just been all hot air—Kenma had notable skill as a setter.  He just lacked stamina.  And possibly motivation.  After half an hour, his pace slowed considerably until Kuroo sent him off to bed with a ruffle of his long, black hair. 

“And since you’re so tired, you’d better be in bed by the time I get back.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Kenma waved, gently pushing Kuroo’s hand away.

Once Kenma had gone, Akaashi remarked, “He speaks to you quite… casually.  For a first year.”

“Ah… yeah.” Kuroo scratched the back of his head.  “Well we’ve known each other since we were kids.  But even if we hadn’t… our team doesn’t— _most_ of us don’t care about years and age hierarchy.  All teammates on the same side of the net and all that.” 

Truth be told, nobody was living up to Akaashi’s expectations for how a high-ranking high school team functioned.  His middle school had adhered strictly to the usual standards regarding player seniority and deference.  First years weren’t regulars unless they proved themselves to be _exceptional_ , only third years could be chosen as captains… If players had thoughts or concerns regarding team composition or other strategies to improve their overall performance, they told the Coach, not each other.  They were teammates, but they were never all equal.

He glanced over at Bokuto as the spiker adjusted his knee pads, and Kuroo followed his gaze across the gym. 

“Bokuto acts like a kid, even if he’s technically older than you.  You can’t honestly think of him as a _senpai_ figure, do you?” Kuroo laughed.

“No… not _senpai_ really…” Akaashi answered quietly, exasperation mixing with affection in his heart as he watched Bokuto snap his kneepads _painfully_ into place and then yelp and rub at his sore thighs.  Yes, he really was a child at heart most of the time. 

“Heeeyyyy!!! What are you two whispering about over there?!”

“Nothing important!” Kuroo laughed.  “Show me that cross-spike you said you’d been working on!”

It was easy enough to get Bokuto to drop any subject so long as the change of topic was volleyball.  For another hour they kept at it until Kuroo admitted fatigue and retired for the night.  As expected, Bokuto turned to Akaashi to ask for ‘one more toss’ before they too called it in.  But Akaashi could see the way Bokuto’s legs seemed to quiver slightly when he landed his jumps, and he had noticed the declining intensity of his spikes over the past half-hour.  He considered their positions, and all the advice he had received from his upperclassmen over the past several months… And although he didn’t think he could ever bring himself to be as casual with Bokuto as Kenma was with Kuroo, he could attempt to put his foot down as a teammate. 

“I think we should call it quits for the night.  Overworking ourselves will more easily lead to injury.”

“Aww… come on!  I’ve got a few more spikes in me!”

Akaashi felt his determination waver, but he pushed down his instinct to bow out, took a deep breath, and said as firmly as he could, “ _No,_ Bokuto-san.  I can see you’re tired.  Let’s stop for the night.  There will be plenty more volleyball for us to play tomorrow.”

Bokuto groaned, but eventually he grunted with slumped shoulders, “Fiiiiiiine… But you better send me some stellar tosses tomorrow then!”

Then he pulled his knee pads off with a flourish, wrapped an arm around Akaashi’s neck even as the setter complained about the heat and the sweat, and pulled them both out of the gym.  No anger, no indignation or offense, not even a hint of a tantrum.

 _Oh._ Akaashi thought to himself.  _That wasn’t so bad after all._

* * *

When the two were finally given the chance to play together in a set against Ubugawa, tossing to Bokuto felt as natural as breathing.  And maybe Akaashi favored Bokuto over the other spikers, but as long as he scored, there weren’t any complaints.  Their timing was perfect, and they won the set with relative ease, earning them the praises of their teammates and the Coach, not to mention the relief from being spared a round of flying dives around the gym.  Bokuto reveled in it, and Akaashi basked in Bokuto’s joy.

This was satisfaction, was it not?  Every point Bokuto scored made his own heart swell with pride and admiration.  To know that he enabled the success of the Ace… It made Akaashi let out a grin even.  A small one.  Barely noticeable, he had thought.

But Yukie had noticed.  She caught him during a break afterward and passed him his water bottle and towel with a sly grin and a low,

“Awesome set today.”

“…which?” He had played in a few.

“Really all of them, but the one with Bokuto especially.  Against Ubugawa.”

“Ah… thank you.” Akaashi mumbled, wiping the sweat off his neck with the proffered towel.

“You should know the upperclassmen are all pretty impressed with you.  My guess is you’ll be a regular as soon as the third years retire from the team.  And then you can set for Bokuto always!” she winked.

“Bokuto-san isn’t the only spiker on the team.” Akaashi said defensively, her candor making him nervous.

“No, but he’s the only one that makes your eyes go all twinkly and bright!” she teased, poking at his arm.

“I don’t—“

“It’s easy to fall for the Ace.  And Bokuto especially.  I think it’s cute!  The star-struck _kouhai_ wanting desperately to impress his—“

“Please don’t say that so loudly.” Akaashi groaned, covering his face with his towel. 

Yukie lowered her voice and leaned in close, mischief shining in that lazy half-grin.  “I won’t tell, I’m just questioning your taste.  And that’s mostly to tease Bokuto, not you.”

“How long have you known him?” She spoke almost as familiarly of him as Kuroo and Kenma of each other.  Childhood friends perhaps?  Maybe they were more than that and chose to keep it secret.  Not that it was any of Akaashi’s business. 

“Just high school.  Bokuto made me feel the least nervous when I was a first-year learning how to do the Team Manager thing.”

“Because he’s so friendly?”

“Because he got on my nerves.” Her reply was immediate and entirely deadpan.

“Ah…” Akaashi grinned before he could stop himself.  “I understand completely.”

They laughed quietly together before Yukie took off with a wink, off to deliver more towels and water bottles before the break ended.  Akaashi noted how she hurled Bokuto’s towel at his head like a weapon, yelling at him about leaving a mess in the club room a few days ago.

For all its ups and downs (Akaashi was _not_ fond of the penalty rounds), he had found the training camp to be an extremely valuable experience in understanding his team and what would be required of him if he hoped to be the regular setter.  He had surprised himself with his effort and motivation, his aching a silent testament to his hard work.  But he had surprised himself most when he held his ground against Bokuto’s unreasonable pleas. 

Still yet, the bigger surprise came when the coach and the captain told him that they would start to feature him in more weekend practice matches after the camp.

“It’s a big deal, switching setters.” The captain said as he kept Akaashi late after practice one afternoon.  “Switching out spikers and blockers doesn’t change the pace nearly as drastically as changing the setter.  I’ve already told the Coach my hesitations for staying on the team through Spring High.  It’s obvious you’re going to be my replacement anyway.  In case I call it quits, the regular team needs to get used to playing with you.  And you with them.”

“I understand.”

“Though… it’s not like you’re not used to playing with them at all.  I know how much extra practice you take part in, and you bring out Bokuto’s strengths better than I ever could.  It’s like you’re perfect for him.”  His captain, Kimura Suzuki smiled at him, for perhaps the first time that entire year.

“I just… practice a lot with him is all.”

“It’s good that you do.  A little more polishing and Bokuto has the potential to be a nationally ranked player.  I always knew he’d become the ace of the team come his third year, but with the improvement the two of you have shown together, we’ll be calling Bokuto our Ace by the Spring High prelims.  Not bad for a second year with a loud mouth.”

“No, he’s… not bad at all.” Akaashi glowed with pride, though the praises weren’t directed at him.

“He has you to thank.  Don’t let him forget it.  I’m happy to call him Ace so long as he doesn’t let it get to his head.”

“You will lose that battle the second you refer to him as the Ace.”

“True enough.” Kimura laughed.  “Sorry to keep you.”

“If I could… pick your brains for advice on how to best set for the team?”  His first real conversation with the team’s main setter, Akaashi thought himself a fool if he let the opportunity go to waste.

“You do a good enough job already to be honest.  And when you’re the setter, the team will change.  I can’t give advice to a different team.  But you’ll find your footing together.”

* * *

 

“You know, Akaashi… I’ve been thinking.” Bokuto hummed casually as they walked home late one night.  The two lived in mostly the same direction, so they usually walked together to the same station and rode the same train line for most of the way. 

“That’s rare of you.”

“Akaaaaasshiiii…” The spiker whined as Akaashi grinned.  “You’re spending too much time with Konoha.  He’s corrupting you against me.”

“Yes, yes… what were you going to say?” He had once thought it impossible to speak this way to an upperclassman, but here they were now.  Akaashi felt himself the upperclassman most days between them.

“Oh!  So it occurred to me that… I don’t actually know that much about you.  We spend all this time together practicing and after all that, I don’t even know your birthday.  Or if you have any siblings… Favorite food???  I mean, who are you really?!  One day a doppleganger is gonna show up or an alien is gonna kidnap you and replace you with a replica and I won’t be able to tell which one is the real Akaashi because I don’t know any of this stuff!”

Akaashi blinked slowly and deliberately to avoid rolling his eyes.

“You really do think the most unnecessary things.”

“These are the legitimate concerns of your caring sen—“

“Dopplegangers don’t exist.  And if some creature _were_ to assume my identity, I’m sure you’d realize it was an imposter the second it tosses to you.”

“Oh!  You’re right!” Bokuto’s eyes gleamed.

“As for everything else, if you want to know my birthday or—“

“Wait!” Bokuto clapped a hand over Akaashi’s mouth with a grin.  “Don’t tell me all at once or I’ll forget it all.  Tell me throughout the day on Sunday.”

“Mmphmhhmm?” Akaashi questioned through Bokuto’s palm.

“Yep!  Sunday!” Bokuto plowed on.  “I’ve decided I’m gonna take you out on Sunday.  Not for volleyball, not for team stuff, just so we can get to know more about each other!”

Akaashi pulled off Bokuto’s hand from his mouth so he could speak unhindered.  “Bokuto-san, that sounds like a date.”

“So it’s a date!  See ya Sunday!”  And then he was off before Akaashi could speak out another syllable of protest.

The setter buried his beet-red face in his hands miserably and recalled Yukie’s words: _It’s easy to fall for the Ace.  And Bokuto especially._  The only problem was that she thought it was a _kouhai_ crush of admiration and respect, and it was fast becoming clear to Akaashi that his feelings had developed into something entirely different.  Something tricky and dangerous, something Bokuto would never understand, and something he himself barely understood. 

“…shit.”

* * *

 

Of all the things Akaashi had imagined for their time together, he hadn’t counted on a train ride out of the city toward an undisclosed location, which Bokuto was determined to keep a secret.  Honestly, he hadn’t thought Bokuto capable of keeping secrets.

“It’s a surprise!”

The surprise was seeing Bokuto in neither his school uniform or his gym clothes.  Remarkably, the spiker cleaned up pretty well—it almost looked like he might even have a sense of _style_.  Unfortunately, that just made Akaashi feel more awkward about their not-date-date.  He wasn’t one of Bokuto’s fangirls, this day was not going to end with the two of them holding hands or sneaking a kiss in on the way home.  Not that Akaashi wanted _any_ of those things!

_I just wanted to play volleyball with him.  That was all._

“Don’t look so nervous, I promise it’ll be fun!” Bokuto chimed suddenly, having caught Akaashi’s somewhat distressed expression.  “I mean... probably.  This will be my first time going too, but I have high hopes!”

That served mostly to unnerve Akaashi further rather than reassure him, and the nervous glower made itself home on his face until they finally stood in front of their final destination.

“You brought us to… an owl café?”

“Ta-da~!”  Bokuto spread his arms out wide.  “Facts about Bokuto Koutarou, number one!  Owls are my favorite animal!  Now tell yours!”

Akaashi stood staring dumbfounded for several seconds before he could manage a reply.

“…I don’t have one.”

“Oh, come on!  You have to have a preference somewhere!  Like… cats or dogs?”

“I’ve never had a pet so I wouldn’t know.”

“You don’t have to have one to—never mind.  Okay, you’ve never had any pets.  I’ll take that.”

Accepting this revelation as some bizarre form of payment, Bokuto grabbed Akaashi’s wrist to pull him inside, eyes bright and eager.  Like a kid in a candy store.  Really, Akaashi hadn’t thought Bokuto capable of getting so excited for something that wasn’t volleyball or meat. 

He had to give credit to the attendant—the first owl she brought out for Bokuto was a great horned owl that was perfect for him.  They even looked alike to an extent.

“Akaashi!  Take a picture!  Take tons!  I wanna remember my time with Kokin-chan forever!  She’s so beautiful!!” Bokuto gushed at the owl perched on his shoulder, stroking her feathers gently as he attempted to hoot softly.  Perhaps he was trying to convey his thoughts to her in her own language.

“Her eyes match yours.” Akaashi noted as he snapped several pictures on his phone.

“We’re like siblings, Kokin-chan!” Bokuto gasped in delight, and Akaashi rolled his eyes with a smile.  It wasn’t too farfetched, imagining Bokuto as an owl. 

After a little while longer, a different attendant brought over an owl for Akaashi.  She explained it was a rufous-legged owl, with sleepy doe eyes and a slightly lazy disposition.

“He’s just eaten, so he’s full and sluggish.” She said with a smile, and Akaashi ran a finger down the soft length of the owl’s feathers.  He cooed softly, and Bokuto cooed right along with it.

“He looks like you!”

“How do you figure?”

“He has your eyebrows.” Bokuto pointed to the striations above the bird’s eyes, tracing their shape before then tracing them on Akaashi’s face.  “See?”

Akaashi coughed and turned his face away as best he could without upsetting the owl on his arm.  “I’d need a mirror to see.”

“Wait, Akaashi!  Turn to look at me, I’ll take a picture.”

Reluctantly he gave in, allowing Bokuto to take several photos of him and his ‘newfound, long-lost brother.’  Akaashi wondered if his feathered brother felt as embarrassed as he did.  Given the sleepy, blasé expression, he guessed not.

For the full duration of their hour, they handled a few other species of owls, some small enough to perch on their fingers, some sleeping in nooks and crannies around the café… Bokuto took several photos of every owl he could manage, but his clear favorite was Kokin-chan, who had to be the very last owl he handled before they left.  Maybe she had been trained to be friendly, but it appeared to Akaashi that Bokuto’s affections for the creature seemed at least partially returned.

Dragging his feet, Bokuto walked out with the setter, all slumped shoulders and melancholy sighs.

“Ahh… I’ll miss her… she was so cool… The only thing would be if I could see her fly.  I bet she’d look crazy awesome soaring through the sky.  Anyway, like I said!  Fun, right?”

“I enjoyed myself more than I expected.” Akaashi admitted quietly.

“Oya?”

“Actually… I’ll revise my earlier statement.  Let’s say with this that owls are my favorite animal too.”

“Whoooah!!!” Bokuto’s eyes shone with excitement, and he clapped Akaashi hard on his back in glee.  “That’s great!  Really great!  Let’s come back here sometime then!”

Akaashi smiled, trying to ignore the way his heart constricted uncomfortably in his chest.  He wanted nothing more, yet at the same time he felt it was the last thing on earth he could possibly want.  So oddly contrary… was this how Bokuto’s mood swings felt?

“Okay, next is food!” Bokuto put a hand to his chin.  “You already know my favorite food is _yakiniku_.  What’s yours?”

“It’s… ah…” Akaashi fidgeted.  “Boiled rapeseed with _karashi_ mustard.”

“It’s… Wait seriously?” Bokuto took a step back in dismay.  “Vegetables?!”

“Yes!” Akaashi bit back defensively as a blush colored his ears.  “That’s what I like.  You don’t have to like it too, but that’s… That’s what I like best to eat.”

“Hmm…” Bokuto nodded thoughtfully. “Well I was gonna say we should grab your favorite food for lunch but… I don’t have the slightest clue where we can—“

“Fast food is fine.” Akaashi huffed.  “That’s what I expected to have today anyway.”

“Aww… are you sulking?”

“I’m not you.” The setter glowered, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“Low blow!” Bokuto wailed as he clutched his heart, despair seeping into his features.

Sighing and pulling Bokuto along by the arm, Akaashi set them back to moving toward the station and with a deadpan, half-sincerity, he muttered, “I was only teasing.  Please, let’s go.”

After lunch, the rest of the day felt fairly standard and less overtly like a date.  Especially when they ended up at an athletics store because they walked by one and Bokuto just _had_ to look around.  _Just for a little bit!_ Shopping for athletic gear definitely felt like just an outing with teammates.

“Hey Akaashi, have you ever considered long kneepads?” Bokuto held out a pair for the setter.  “The compression in the thighs is pretty great, if you ever wanted to give them a go.”

“I’ll pass.”  Akaashi couldn’t even imagine what their teammates would think of them both showing up in those.  He knew several people already thought of him as a pining _kouhai_ stuck on Bokuto with a dozen connotations attached. 

Looking away from the padding and protective gear section, Akaashi’s eyes fell to the T-shirt racks that stood a little ways away, many of the shirts featuring terrible sports puns or just the general, [insert player position here] for Life.  _A ‘Setter for Life’ shirt might not be so bad,_ Akaashi thought briefly, and then he began digging through the hangers in the hopes of finding one.  But the overwhelming majority were baseball positions, and he felt his enthusiasm waning.  Eventually, he found one on a different rack that read ‘Setter Dog,’ featuring a drawing of a puppy beside the plain text.  Remembering their earlier conversation about favorite animals and cats and dogs, he pulled it off the rack and held it up to his torso to examine the fit. 

“Oh hey Akaashi, did you find a shirt you like—?” Bokuto stared at the bizarre print on the shirt Akaashi held up.  “…what is that?”

“It says ‘setter dog.’” Akaashi explained.

“My English isn’t _that_ bad.  I can read what it says, but… what is it supposed to mean?”

“It has a dog.  And the shirt is for setters.”

“…I think one of us is seriously missing the point, and for once it’s not me.” Bokuto frowned, glaring at the cartoon dog as though it had just peed on his leg. 

“I think the dog is cute.  And I’ve spent the earlier part of this day gaining an appreciation for animals.  It’ll be a fine practice shirt.  I’m buying it.”

“Whoah whoah—hang on!  What about this one?” Bokuto held up instead a textured athletics shirt with stripes leading diagonally down the chest from the collar in a black and grey color scheme.  “Wouldn’t something like this look much cooler?”

“Everyone has shirts like that.” Akaashi shrugged, turning to take his prize over to the register.  “But this one says ‘setter’ on it.”

“But Akaaashiiii…”

“The shirt is for _me_ , Bokuto-san.” Akaashi snapped.  “And I’m getting _this_ one.”

“That’s…” Bokuto crossed his arms as Akaashi half-stomped away from him, the first truly petulant display he’d ever seen out of the boy.  And over such a lame t-shirt!  “Shit, that’s cute…” He muttered to himself when Akaashi was out of earshot.  Not the shirt, goodness no, but the ever-so-slightly fiery Akaashi he had just witnessed, defensive about his hideous new apparel.

And that was an interesting thought for Bokuto, who had never really considered a teammate to be cute before.  He could understand better if it had been about a tiny libero or even Yukie but instead it was his cool, _kouhai_ setter… who didn’t have a favorite animal before today and whose favorite food was a _vegetable_. 

“Shall we go, Bokuto-san?” Akaashi returned with his purchase, gripping the bag tight as if afraid Bokuto would snatch it out of his hand and burn it in protest. 

“One last thing.” Bokuto grinned, pointing to the _gacha_ machines by the door.  “I wanna try for a Volley-kun.”

Three 100-yen coins later, Bokuto stood beaming with two Volley-kun charms and one plain, little volleyball charm.  He held out one of the duplicate Volley-kun charms to Akaashi.

“Here!  You can have this one and then we’ll be matching!”

“Putting a charm like that on my bag, be reasonable please.” Akaashi rolled his eyes.

“What?!” Bokuto screeched.  This, from the guy who just bought the Setter Dog shirt?!

“I’ll take this one.” He picked the simple volleyball charm out of Bokuto’s palm and pocketed it.  Matching keychains weren’t nearly as egregious as matching long kneepads, but Akaashi wasn’t taking any chances.  And he really didn’t want the Volley-kun.

“Oh, fiiiiine…” Bokuto sighed as he pocketed the other two.  “Early birthday present?  Actually, when is your birthday anyway?”

“…December 5th.” Akaashi muttered.

“Oh, a ways away then.” Bokuto pursed his lips.  “Hmm… Too early.  I’ll get you something else closer to December then.  Also something that’s more than 100 yen.”

“B-but…” Akaashi started.  “Then… when is your birthday?”

“September 20th.”

“But!” Akaashi gaped.  “But that’s tomorrow!”

“Yep!” Bokuto grinned.  “I’ll be seventeen!” 

“But—I haven’t… I don’t have anything—“

“Your present to me was hanging out with me today!  You’re always staying late with me and putting up with me… I wanted to make it up to you a little.” Bokuto shuffled his feet.

“But how is that meant to celebrate _you_?”

“We did pretty much only things I want to do.  That counts.  Anyway, thanks for hanging with me today.” Bokuto held up a fist for Akaashi.

Akaashi stared conflicted a the hand that was offered to him, thinking of all the things that gesture meant: camaraderie, friendship, perhaps it went as far as trust even off the court.  Such things warmed him to the bone coming from Bokuto.  But there were many things it failed to mean, things he felt ashamed of for wanting, and he at last returned the fist-bump halfheartedly, thanking him and apologizing in the same breath.

His heart was a mess to say nothing of his head, which couldn’t seem to decide the direction it wanted his heart to go.  Maybe if their positions had been reversed… if Akaashi had been the older one between them and Bokuto had come to as an energetic but troublesome _kouhai_ , would he have ever fallen for him in the first place?  Hadn’t his muddled feelings stemmed from a misplaced sense of hero worship?  Or maybe it wouldn’t have mattered, and he’d have a growing affection for the spiker regardless… with an added sense of guilt for being older and thinking so inappropriately towards an underclassman he was meant to be guiding.  Better to be younger, Akaashi supposed. 

But even better if he could just be a girl.

* * *

 

Akaashi watched mournfully as Yukie passed a letter to Bokuto after school one day before practice, shrugging and sighing as she did.

“It’s from a girl in the class next to mine.  She saw you play in the Spring High prelims and yadda yadda yadda, you know the rest.  You look good enough on the court, I suppose.”

“Gee Yukie, tell me how you really feel.” Bokuto said wryly as he accepted the letter despite Konoha and Komi’s jeering beside him.

“Third one in a week; guess being the _Ace_ counts for something after all.” Konoha smirked as he leaned into Bokuto’s shoulder.  “Ooooh, Bokuto-kun… your arms are so strong!  You jump so hiiigh!  Can I feel your muscles please?”

“Get off, Konoha!” Bokuto laughed, shoving his classmate off him.

Akaashi watched their display and felt like puking.

“Ahh… But having a girl cheer for you from the stands has gotta be an awesome feeling.” Komi sighed wistfully.  “They almost never go for the short libero… Spikers and setters get all the attention.  It’ll only be a matter of time before little Akaashi’s letters start flooding in—“

“Actually, I have a couple for him right here.” Yukie chimed in, pulling two more neatly addressed envelopes out of her bag.  “Our first-year setter is blossoming into quite the star now.  Both girls were pretty cute, just so you know.”

She held them out for Akaashi to take, but he turned away from them, working hard to keep the disdain off his face and out of his voice.

“Sorry.  But I wouldn’t be able to answer those.”

“Whoah, Akaashi—seriously?!” Konoha gaped.  “Rejecting them just like that?!”

“No substantial relationship is born from a cliché love letter confession.” Akaashi replied coldly.  “How can I date someone I don’t even know?  If they were serious about it, shouldn’t they have approached me directly instead of inconveniencing Yukie-san?” 

“Harsh, man.” Komi frowned.

But Akaashi simply could not muster the sympathy for the girls who could so selfishly believe it’d be so easy to win his or Bokuto’s affections simply by being cute and writing a letter.  Akaashi could count the number of girls he talked to regularly on one hand, and Yukie was the only non-family member.  None of these girls had bothered to greet him in person or put in the effort to get to know him.  By contrast, he had studied to get into _this_ particular school, practiced above and beyond what was expected of him until he thought his body might break from exhaustion just so he could earn his place as the regular setter on _this_ particular volleyball team… All so he could get to know _this_ particular spiker known as Bokuto Koutarou.  Yet after all that, he couldn’t even imagine the luxury of just being able to confess his feelings outright.  He felt such a thing was deeply unfair, and so he turned his nose up at the letters that were offered to him, well aware of how cold and snobby it made him appear.

“That’s no good, Akaashi…” Bokuto chided softly.  “These are people’s feelings we’re talking about here.  Even if you can’t return them, you shouldn’t just outright dismiss them.”

Bokuto’s words were a dagger to his heart.

“I don’t see the point.”

“Akaashi… At last read them and give them their due.  They took the trouble to write them just for you—“

“Do with them what you will, Bokuto-san, but I can’t accept them.” Akaashi stormed off to the club room then, fighting back the hot bile that rose in his throat and ignoring the blood pounding in his ears like a storm.

All this time, Bokuto had never behaved like the upperclassman that he was supposed to be, and the _one_ time that he scolded Akaashi over anything was over the meager feelings of some girls they’d never met.  He slammed his locker shut and stomped outside, but just before he could reach the gym, Yukie pulled him aside and away where they couldn’t be overheard.

“Oh, don’t give me that face, I’m not here to force the letters on you.” She held up her hands and wiggled her fingers.  “See?  Love letter free!”

“I-I’m sorry about earlier.” Akaashi followed her lead and sat beside her on the bench facing the soccer field.  “And I’m sorry that they dragged you into it—asking you to deliver love letters to team—what do they think your job as team manager is?”

“Haha…” Yukie gave a dry laugh.  “Pretty sure most of them think it’s my excuse to be close to cute boys all the time.  But that’s because none of _them_ know how unpleasant it can be to be surrounded by sweaty high school boys.  _Most_ of whom are as simple-minded as Bokuto.  Smart ones like you are rare.  But even you lose your appeal when I see you constantly sweating around in a Setter Dog T-shirt.”

Akaashi ignored the jab against his fashion choices.  “I suppose even I don’t really know all you do for us as team manager.  But I do see you taking notes all the time.  And I appreciate not having to worry about the logistics of taking care of this team.”

“I’m not ogling you boys, but I am watching pretty closely from off the court.  I have to catalogue your player stats and all.  And player stats from other teams so we can analyze their strengths and weaknesses and come up with counter-strategies.  Honestly… I get pretty tired of looking at boys.  Next year when I have to look for my replacement, I’m gonna find the cutest first year girl I can so that she gives me something better to look at from time to time!” Yukie winked.

“Yukie-san… That sounds almost predatory…” Akaashi laughed.

“I’m as much a carnivore as Bokuto.  With sometimes a bigger appetite.” She grinned.  “Which is why I decided to work with a boys’ team and not a girls’ one.  Better to keep me away from all the cute girls, who are all my type.”

“…your type?”  Surely she didn’t mean…

“I know how you feel, ya know.” Her voice grew suddenly serious and low, the sparkle in her eye dulling into a low glimmer.  “I’ve seen the way you look at Bokuto lately.  I just didn’t put two and two together until today.”

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about…” he scooted away from her, feeling the fight-or-flight response tingling in his legs and setting off blaring sirens in his head. 

“Don’t you?” she stared.  She was looking right through him, into his heart.  And if she could see, there was no telling who else could.

“We should get back.” Akaashi choked out.

“Akaashi—“ she grabbed his wrist to hold him in place, her grip remarkably strong.  “Don’t be afraid, I’m not gonna tell.  I’m just letting you know that you can talk to me if you need to.”

“But that’s—I…” He felt like a dam about to burst, unware of how much structural integrity had been lost until Yukie tapped on his defenses gently.  What he had thought to be stone cracked like glass and under the force of her kind smile, a hopeless whine seeped up out of his throat.  “I was trying to forget.  Ignore it and hope it fades into oblivion.”

“You’re smart, Akaashi.  You should know better than that.”

“But I don’t.  Not with this sort of thing.  This may be the first time that I’ve ever liked anyone.  _That_ way.”

“First?” Yukie bit her lip.  “And it had to be _that_ idiot.  You do have my sympathies, you do.”

“How do I make this go away then?  Nothing good could come of this.  I’d never be able to tell him.  Even if I did, he’d never be able to reciprocate these feelings, and then knowing I feel this way would only ruin his performance—“

“Always back to volleyball.” Yukie sighed.  “I forgot you’re just as obsessed as he is.”

“I’d never forgive myself if I took that away from him.”

His thoughts drifted to the stupid Volley-kun keychains Bokuto now kept on his bag and it made him want to cry. 

“You can’t always make it go away.” She looked out onto the fields where the soccer team was beginning to gather.  “But you have to stop feeling _guilty_ about what you feel.  It’s inconvenient enough, I get that, but it’s nothing shameful or bad or wrong.  Whatever’s going through your head, let it happen, and then maybe, with time… it’ll pass through.  Stop trying to ignore it or push it away.”

Akaashi followed her gaze out to the grass and repeated her words.  “…pass through?”

“That or you grab his stupid face and let him know _exactly_ how you feel!” she winked.

“Ah… hah…” He shook his head.  “Not likely.”

Yukie laughed as she stood, stretching her arms up overhead.  “Well, it’s up to you.”

“I’ll figure myself out.  Thank you, Yukie-san.  For your advice.  And for being so… _open_ with me.”

Whatever his intentions regarding his confused feelings, Akaashi gave every thought to apologizing for his outburst after practice.  And either Bokuto knew him well enough by now to expect that or maybe he had a thing or two he himself wanted to say… Either way Akaashi found Bokuto waiting for him outside the club room after everyone else had left, the letters clutched firmly in one hand.

Biting his lip, Akaashi lowered his head into a deep bow, stating firmly, “I apologize for earlier.  I didn’t mean any disrespect, and—“

“Stop, stop, Akaashi.  Stop it.” Bokuto pulled him up so they could stand face-to-face, embarrassment plain in his features.  “It’s not like I’m mad at you… I was just surprised.”

“Surprised?”

“At how cold you’re being about this.  I mean, you’re so considerate about me and the rest of the team.  I have it in my head that you’re this really caring, thoughtful guy, ya know?  So to see you just… shrug these off.  It doesn’t seem like you at all.”

“Have I disappointed you?”

“What?!  Geez, Akaashi, you’re so down on yourself!” Bokuto grabbed Akaashi by the shoulder and shook him gently.  “What I meant was… like… for you to be like this, I realized there was something I was missing.  Like maybe you’ve got some personal stuff going on right now, or maybe you had a really bad break-up you can’t get over…”

“…what?”

“I didn’t mean to be pushy about it—Hell, I was seriously worried you were mad at me.  So don’t… Don’t apologize to me.  Let me— _I’m_ sorry.”

“B-Bokuto-san…”

“And if you don’t want to deal with these, I get it!  Yukie and I will have your back on this!”

“Th-that’s…”

“Whoah, Akaashi, are you… _crying_?!”

Akaashi shook his head stubbornly though his eyes were plainly filling with tears.  He bit down on his lip, afraid that if he opened his mouth at all he’d break down completely and that would be the end of everything.  Of all the things for Bokuto to assume… And yet he couldn’t bring himself to correct him.

“Aww… It’s okay, Akaashi!  There’s no need to cry about it, this is the least teammates can do.”  He pulled Akaashi into a fierce hug, squeezing tight.

At the touch of Bokuto’s warmth enveloping him, the tears began to steadily fall down Akaashi’s cheeks and onto Bokuto’s shoulder.  _Remember this_ , he thought to himself, allowing the embrace this one time.  Just this once.  As teammates and friends.  After this, he’d put his feelings to rest.

But the second Akaashi found himself alone in his room with nothing but silence to occupy his thoughts, the walls shattered completely and there was nothing that could stop the gasping sobs now ripping through his lungs. 

_Hopeless.  I’m hopeless._

Owning up to his feelings only served to turn doubt into agony.

_You can’t always make it go away._

Akaashi regretted not forming more meaningful relationships throughout his life.  He couldn’t think of a single friend he could consult for this sort of situation.  Although Yukie had offered to be a listening ear, they just weren’t as close as he felt they needed to be for him to call her whilst sobbing.  But… at the very least… he could text her after he had regained some of his composure.

* * *

 

Shirofuku Yukie was not a girl easily surprised; it was in her personality somehow.  It might have had something to do with being raised with three brothers… always an element of unpredictability with that many siblings.  It took a lot to disturb her.  But she could never have guessed that she’d one day be playing emotional counselor to a player on the team in much the same position as she.  Arguably worse, actually.

Everyone had always warned her that she’d have to spend her days refusing every romantic advance from the players on the team and from players on opposing teams and that nobody would be surprised if she came out of her experience with a volleyball team captain as a boyfriend. 

“Shows what they know…” she muttered to no one. 

No player on Fukurodani was willing to stir up tension by vying for her affections—each and every one of them were volleyball geeks to the core and cared more about the team’s overall balance.  She was practically a member of the team in her way, and dating a team member carried the same risks as dating a co-worker: Awkward for everyone if it doesn’t work out in the end. 

But really the main deterrent was simply: she had no interest in men.  She wasn’t _super_ open about that fact, but she felt that most of the players knew in their way that she was different somehow. 

Her phone buzzed from her bag suddenly, pulling her out of her musings and she unlocked it to find a text from Bokuto.

 

> I’m worried about Akaashi.   
>  I feel like he’s got some pretty serious stuff going on.  Maybe at home?   
>  Have you noticed anything? 

Yukie rolled her eyes.  Boy, was he dense. 

 

> **I sort of talked to him about it earlier.**
> 
> When?  He cried on my shoulder after everyone left and I tried to talk to him about it.   
>  Except, he wouldn’t tell me anything.
> 
> **You made him cry?!  What did you say?**
> 
> I didn’t mean to make him cry!!!    
>  All I said was sorry about the letters thing.  
>  And if he didn’t want to deal with them anymore, I’d stand up for him against the girls.   
>  I was looking out!

Yukie sighed.  Loud. 

 

> **Honestly, Bokuto, you’re such a klutz.  
>  Akaashi probably just needs his space, leave him be for a little while. **
> 
> But he needs me, Yukie!  I can feel it!

More than the dolt knows…

 

> **It’s complicated, Bokuto, leave it alone!**
> 
> How complicated could it be?!  
>  Unless…  
>  Did he confess to you and you rejected him? 
> 
> **You’re an idiot.**
> 
> I’m serious, Yukie!  I’m worried about him. 
> 
> **You’re never this worried about anyone else.**
> 
> Akaashi’s special.   
>  He’s my setter!
> 
> **Is that seriously all he is to you?  A means to more volleyball?**
> 
> No!!!  
>  I swear, it’s not like that!  I care about the guy!  
>  Honestly, there are times I think I might even have a crush on him?!  
>  Shit, how do you delete texts?  
>  Don’t you dare tell!

“…wouldn’t dream of it.” Yukie smirked at her phone.  There may yet be hope for Akaashi after all. 

Her phone buzzed with a text from a different sender—Akaashi now.  His ears must have been burning.

 

> Maybe if he had never invited me to spend time with him outside of practice… Then I could’ve deluded myself forever into thinking it was only his volleyball skills I admired.  But before I realized what was happening, he went from an idol to a teammate to a friend—from an ideal to a person.  And then I couldn’t ignore anymore how much I wanted to see him both on and off the court, and to see him smile at me and not just at volleyball.  Really, this was all my fault to begin with.
> 
> **Akaashi.  
>  You really need to text in smaller chunks.  **

There was a long pause after that before Akaashi began typing out another message.  She got the feeling Akaashi didn’t text much with anyone ever.

 

> Sorry.  It’s just… Bokuto apologized for the letters.

Hmm… to feign ignorance or not?  Yukie grappled with her morals for the best course of action.  

 

> **Why?  It’s not like he wrote them.  But wouldn’t that be a fun plot twist!**
> 
> He apologized for insisting I read them.  He’s now under the assumption that I’m suffering some… post trauma that’s keeping me closed from romance.  And I got bit… overwhelmed and couldn’t bring myself to correct him. 

She noted his careful use of the word ‘overwhelmed’ as opposed to ‘cried on his shoulder.’

 

> For him to come to such a misunderstanding… And then to apologize to me for it?  That’s precisely his brand of frustrating but endearing behavior.
> 
> **Ohh… you’ve got it bad, Akaashi.**
> 
> For lack of a better phrase, yes.  But I can’t keep pining like this.
> 
> **Well, I guess you’ve liked him for several months now, and your feelings seem the type to stick.**
> 
> Longer than that.

Came Akaashi’s reply while she was in the middle of typing out her next sentence. 

 

> **Longer?  So what, since spring then?**
> 
> Probably… from that middle school match.
> 
> **Middle school!?!?!?**
> 
> Our team lost to his, but seeing him play then was when he first captivated me.  I came to Fukurodani because of him.  I wanted to be on the same team as him, no matter what.

Yukie asked herself if she was willing to play matchmaker for such a clumsy couple.  That or settle in to watch the show unfold from the sidelines.  No one had ever told her that being manager of a high school volleyball team would result in _this_ sort of team drama. 

 

> **Oh, Akaashi…**
> 
> It’s all so overwhelming.  He pulls me along to his every whim at every turn, and I feel myself simply caught in his whirlwind.

The soul of a poet, this one. 

 

> **Can I be honest with you?**
> 
> Please.
> 
> **Your options are to confess or quit the team.**
> 
> Both of those choices are impossible!  If I leave, the team won’t have a setter.  I’ve just been made the regular setter in place of the Captain, I couldn’t possibly quit after all that. 
> 
> **So confess to the big lug!**

Okay, she was getting pushy now. 

 

> If that goes poorly, you know his performance would suffer.  The team loses either the ace or its setter?  Those can’t be my only options, Yukie-san.
> 
> **You keep assuming he’d reject you.  But in any case, it sounds to me like you’re choosing the team.  Not Bokuto, but volleyball.**

* * *

 

Akaashi stared at Yukie’s latest text with wide-eyed astonishment.  Then his eyes flew to the volleyball charm that dangled from the zipper pull of his backpack.  With a start, he realized that his first love had been volleyball.  It had grown difficult recently to extract Bokuto from the sport itself, but if he could maybe throw himself into volleyball again, apart from Bokuto, perhaps he could find a working contentment. 

 

> What would you do in my position?
> 
> **Since I’m currently your team manager, Akaashi, what do you think I did?**
> 
> Right… And given the chance to do it over?
> 
> **But I can’t go back and do it over.  What’s done is done.**

Akaashi stared sullenly at his phone, displeased with her answer and wondering if maybe he was the one asking the wrong questions.

 

> **But as who I am now, I’d probably grab the bull by the horns next time.  If there is a next time for me…**
> 
> That sounds your style, Yukie-san.
> 
> **You’re still not going to confess, are you?**
> 
> No.  But being able to talk about this to anyone at all has helped tremendously.  Thank you.
> 
> **You’ll be getting my bill. ;)**

Yes.  What Akaashi needed to do was choose the team and go back to the very beginning—to the sport that he loved and not the teammate that excelled at it.  Everything just needed to be put back in perspective on the court, with his thoughts returned to where he needed to toss the ball.  Survey the players—how could he best enable the next point scored?

“Back to the basics,” he muttered to himself, half-convinced that his strategy might actually work, and he could soon overcome the intoxicating hold Bokuto Koutarou held over him. 

* * *

 

But fate was always cruel when it came to best-laid plans, and Bokuto was always the unpredictable factor that ruined most attempts at careful planning.  Less than two weeks later, when Akaashi had believed himself returned to a modicum of normalcy with his inconvenient feelings pushed down and away somewhere, Bokuto approached him to hurl his routine into the wind.

“Akaashi, I have something… really _important_ I wanna ask you.”  He said after practice one afternoon, grabbing Akaashi’s wrist and looking so fervently into his eyes Akaashi could feel the longing pangs creeping back into his chest.

“S-sure.  I just can’t stay too long”  He had been trying to limit how much extra time they spent together without drawing suspicion to try and spare his poor heart.  It hadn’t been working as well as he would’ve liked, but a little progress was better than none. 

“Won’t take long.”

As their teammates filed out of the gym to head back and change, the two of them lingered, Bokuto fidgeting nervously with his fingers as he waited for everyone else to leave.  Akaashi couldn’t quite remember the last time he had seen Bokuto so nervous, if ever.

“So… They told me a few days ago… Coach and the captains, I mean.  But most of the upperclassmen are leaving the team now to focus on exams, including our captains, so… They’re gonna make a formal announcement at the end of the week to everyone, but they told me first because… I’m gonna be captain.  Me!”

Bokuto’s hands were shaking, his eyes aglow, and Akaashi found himself utterly impressed that Bokuto had managed to keep such news to himself for more than a few hours, let alone a few days.

“Congratulations, Bokuto-san.” He meant it, he really did.

“And—well.  They told me to pick my vice-captain before the end of the week, so I thought long and hard about it… And I just can’t think of a better choice than you!”

“…m-me?” Akaashi squeaked.  “But I’m only a first year…”

“You are _now_.  But by next year, you’ll be a second-year.  And you’re super mature and responsible—you impressed everyone plenty by becoming the regular setter this year—trust me, they respect you.  Plus we spend all this time together anyway, our teamwork is off the charts!  The Ace and his setter.  Come on Akaashi, there’s no one for me but you.  Whaddaya say?  I think we could be really good together!”

Bokuto held out his arms and grinned from ear-to-ear, and Akaashi felt all of his efforts from the past two weeks crumple to ash at their feet. 

“Do… Do you say these things just to upset me?!” Akaashi groaned. 

“What?”

“It doesn’t matter what I try or plan, you ruin all of it by just…”  By just existing, really.

“…Akaashi?”

The kiss hit Bokuto as unexpectedly as a volleyball to the face… on _his_ serve.  The shock, anyway.  Akaashi’s lips pressed against him considerably more softly and tenderly than a ball to the face.  And warm.  And gone too soon.  Bokuto found his lips chasing Akaashi’s as he pulled away, whining slightly as the balmy pressure disappeared completely.  Kissing a girl had never felt like _that._

“Akaa—“

“I’m sorry.  Reject me this instant, and I promise I’ll never bring it up again.  I’ll never let it affect how we play on the court or our relationship to our teammates.  Whatever boundaries you set, I’ll follow without question but—“

It was Bokuto’s turn to interrupt now with a kiss of his own, one that pressed more insistently and disintegrated all of Akaashi’s worries into quiet moans between them, voiced into the air as gasps of delight. 

“No boundaries.” Bokuto whispered against Akaashi’s lips. 

“Bokuto-san…” Akaashi whimpered.  “You _do_ realize what I’m asking of you?  Please tell me you’re not just acting on impulse…”

“I’ve had girlfriends before Akashi, I know what a kiss means.” Bokuto laughed that Akaashi was managing to scold him even during his own confession.  “Do _you_?”

Akaashi bit his no-longer-virgin lips and cringed at his own lack of experience.  “N-not entirely.”  He’d been so concerned about how a confession would’ve potentially rattled Bokuto to his core and ruined his performance that he had never stopped to consider how they’d be affected with his affections reciprocated.  Or even—

“We can’t tell anyone.” Akaashi gasped suddenly.  Forget their teammates his parents would…

“You’re thinking too much again.”

“Really, I should’ve thought about this a _lot_ more before I told you anything.”

“Showed me, more like.” Bokuto smirked.

“You’re rubbing off on me.”

“So you’ll be my vice-captain then?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Akaashi scoffed, pulling away and turning so he could hide his face.  It was easier if he wasn’t looking at him.  “Your vice-captain, your teammate, your setter… I’ll be all of them.  Everything.  I’ll be anything for you.”

“Akaashi!” Bokuto cried happily, pulling Akaashi close to him again in a vice grip.  “And what should I be for you?”

He was already so much.  But there was one thing he wasn’t, and Akaashi smirked as he challenged him.

“Be the best Ace you can be.”  _My one and only._

Bokuto smiled slow at that, affection brimming in his eyes.

“Akaashi, you really are perfect for me.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've never had to bother with honorifics before since I wrote mostly Kuroo and Kenma, who never use honorifics with each other and barely any with their other friends, but Akaashi is such a stickler for showing proper deference that it was starting to feel weird not having them when he spoke. A slight change in style, I suppose, but I felt it was necessary and a part of Akaashi's character at this point in his life. 
> 
> I fumbled with this idea for weeks and weeks trying to work through a writing slump, and I hope it's something at least halfway decent that people can enjoy. I know with season 3 airing, everyone has crows and eagles on the brain, but I still have owls on my mind~ 
> 
> As always, comments and critiques are much appreciated!
> 
> Twitter: @Luna_Dreaming  
> Tumblr: nimbus-cloud


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